Great Textpectations
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Missouri Dating For Single Men
I am not expecting text messages as inspired as Charles Dickens novels, but I do have certain textpectations–some of them greater than others. By the time those Thursday text messages float into your inbox – “you around this weekend” and you respond with something like “I am sir.” And hear those three little words: let’s meet up - you (and they) know its on…
Or is it?
Much to my chagrin these premeditated meet ups often turn into more of a cat and mouse game of texting that turns a night out with pals into a one of two distractions
1) Trying to lure your love interest to the bar you are at with your friends…”hey guys, how long we going to be here?”
Or…
2) Debating whether you should troll out of your comfort zone to locations uncharted since your freshman year.
A little while back, I was out with a group of friends and after a series of witty and flirtatious ping-pong texts with a romanTECH interest–who I swear has the opposite summer schedule as me–sent me his sans humor, bottom line at approximately 12:40: “really wanna c u. come here.”
Me, flattered by his bold choice ditched my crowd to meet the potential boo. When I got there however, potential boo he was not. Instead he was hypnotized by some pay-per-view fight and gave me a hey along with a high five. No joke: I almost blacked out. Believe me, I wasn’t expecting rose petals a la Coming to America, but a drink on his tab and glad to see you would have gotten him farther then he probably realized. Feeling weird, I did the natural thing, grabbed myself a drink, slugged it and said my good-byes. He, acting unaffected by my “ciao for now,” quickly shot me a series of text messsages ranging in degrees of desperation from “why did you leave” to “where are you” to the simply stated “?”
Maybe it was harsh, but I was let down by the built-up meet-up and even more deflated by the fact that his actions and texts were sending different messages. In some ways I remain traditional in my thinking: actions speak louder than words (even when they are typed).
To Send Or Not To Send? There IS No Question
Put on those sunglasses ladies cause I’m about to blindside you with a simple truth that will revolutionize your life.
I’ve suffered from a bad habit for about 90% of my life. It’s called – prematurely hitting the ‘send’ button. Whether it be a text or a lengthy email, you should never send that puppy when you are at the height of your emotions. I used to just blame it on the fact that I’m Italian and impatient, but I now realize that this applies to most women who are going through a crisis. Please, for the love of irreversible embarrassment, follow these guidelines before sending a letter, text or email.
1. Sleep before sending. Okay, I’m human. And I’m female. I realize that makes this statement nearly impossible. BUT, you have to do it. And since I’ve got about ten years of embarrassment on you – what I say goes. I cannot even count how many times I have had an emotional conversation, whether it be a breakup or the end of a friendship, and I’ve immediately gone home and composed a letter. Who’s with me? Because, obviously, in the heat of the moment you can’t remember all the genius points that you will think of as you’re driving home in the car, crying after said conversation. So, of course, you have to write out your thoughts in one final letter in hopes of proving your point and making them feel like crap. Am I right or am I right?
Here’s the problem with that. After you’ve been crying all night, possibly drinking, and your emotions are off the hook – you are in no shape to form cohesive thoughts. If it makes you feel better, fine. Write the letter. But PLEASE do not send it until you have had a good night’s sleep. Otherwise, you will wake up in the morning and not only will you realize that you no longer have a boyfriend – you will also realize that you sent him a highly emotional, borderline pathetic letter that he is probably currently showing all of his friends.
2. Get a second opinion. Just like any disease, you need a second opinion when sending a letter of finality. It took me years to realize that a close friend’s opinion is invaluable when it comes to this stuff. One time, a friend read over a very important letter I had composed, and she saw things that I didn’t even realize would have been taken completely wrong. You need someone who isn’t involved in the emotions of the situation to reel you in if you’re being too ridiculous and to help you effectively communicate.
3. Don’t send on assumption. Never, and I repeat NEVER send a letter or text or email based on assumption. “Oh… he hasn’t responded to my texts all night – he’s cheating! I knew it!” No, no, no. You will feel like a gigantic idiot the next day when you find out that his grandma died and you sent him a five-part breakup text. I don’t care if you are 99% sure that your friend is the culprit of that rumor flying around about you – do not act until you have proof!! This will only make you out to be a total spaz.